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Google "sleep training" and you are going to be met with a plethora of good and bad opinions on the topic. What is often overlooked is that there is very little research on infant sleep and no matter which side of the fence your are on, you will find a research study that supports your side. So what's to give? You've probably heard about "sleep teaching", but what the heck is the difference?
sleep training explained
Traditional sleep training methods typically involve structured and planned strategies to respond to your baby's wakings. Quite often, crying is involved. In fact, to expect a baby to not cry when changing something that they are used to is to expect them to not speak. This is their communication.
Popular sleep training methods include Cry It Out, Graduated Extinction methods (Check and Console, Ferber), Shush-Pat, Chair Method, Just Sit, and so much more. Many parents feel guilt or pressure to use these methods, but they're not the only solution to baby sleep problems. In fact, I believe that 75% of baby sleep problems can be improved with changing their sleep foundation, which is where sleep teaching/shaping comes in.
sleep teaching explained
While some may consider this to be a gentle sleep training approach, I feel that no sleep training method can be sustainable without first involving sleep teaching. The core principles of this idea is to make changes in your baby's sleep environment routines, and sleep associations that naturally improve their sleep without every needing to leave them to "cry it out."
so which one is better?
What works for one baby is not going to necessarily work for another, so to say sleep training is better than sleep teaching makes a huge generalization that assumes all babies develop in the same way.
The truth is that while some babies with easier temperaments take to sleep training easy, a baby with a challenging temperament may be quite aversive to the process. Therefore sleep training works for one but not the other.
Ultimately, the decision is unique to each family, however sleep training will always begin with sleep teaching. In fact, when families begin sleep teaching as early as 4 weeks old, many times there is no need for ongoing sleep training!
Check out my newborn sleep guide to learn the steps to sleep teaching that brought my daughter 12 hour nights by 11 weeks old.
why sleep teaching works
This approach to baby sleep focuses on finding and resolving the root cause sleep struggles rather than just putting on a bandaid (aka responding with a method only). In the long-term babies learn to self-soothe and sleep independently gradually over time, leading to long-term sleep habits. It maintains a nurturing, and supportive relationship with your baby, which is a big concern for many new parents.
why sleep training works
For moms with a type A personality (it's me, hi! 😅), sleep training can bring a sense of order and peace, which we don't often find in the world of motherhood! Sleep training creates a predictable sleep routine, helping both babies and parents establish clear expectations and boundaries around sleep time.
Over time, sleep training significantly decreases the frequency fo night wakings, leading to longer, uninterrupted sleep stretches for both baby and parents. A common argument is that babies learn to not call out because no one is coming. I disagree. Babies don't need to call out because they have the tools they need. Though the first night or two can be challenging, as the beginning stages of learning a skill are, sleep training brings lasting results (as long as the approach is kept consistent) after a relatively short period of time.
But Harlee, where do you stand on this?
Ultimately, I'm a big fan of the Check-and-Console method. While I believe that there are truly sensitive babies out there who need highly parent present approaches, I have found that the vast majority of babies I've worked privately with thrive once they are given space. That is why no matter which method is chosen, I won't coach on Pick Up/Put Down, as I find it to be easier on parents and very hard on babies.
However, there still doesn't need to be a lot of crying when giving your baby space. That is why I always begin with sleep teaching - balancing day sleep with wake time to build the perfect sleep pressure, creating clear associations that cue your baby that sleep is coming, setting up an environment that supports sleep and works with it, and addressing any mindset/self-talk issues within parents (your baby coregulates with you so if you are stressed, so are they!).
final thoughts
When choosing whether sleep training or sleep teaching is right for you, it's important to ask yourself:
How much crying can I tolerate?
What are my thoughts around what my baby's crying means?
Where am I at mentally? Do I need a change ASAP?
How much support do I have?
What can I sustain and be consistent with?
If any or all of this feels daunting to you, schedule a free sleep assessment call where we can discuss what is going on with your baby's sleep and which strategy will work best for your family.
Ready to start diving in? My free, 32-page guide lays out the exact first three steps to take when beginning to sleep teach with your baby.
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